8.27.2014

RAIN + 19 + HEARTS

I don't really know what I'm about to say, but I've missed blogging, or writing in general so that's what I'm doing I guess. 

I haven't written since JUNE. wow, that's insane because July was one for the books. In a "so much happened and so much was good and beautiful and fun" kind of way. I fell in love a lot in July, but got my heart broken only 3 times. None of them knew that they broke my heart though, so I sometimes pretend that it doesn't really count. I turned 19 in July. Which feels like this baby age, but also I feel really grown up. I laughed a lot in July at things that I shouldn't have laughed at and I had really, really good mornings at swim practice. Then, I also had really hard mornings where the swim parents were so difficult I just cried because I really was trying so hard. I rekindled friendships that I really needed and the weather was fantastic. So overall, July was pretty beautiful. I just wish I would have photographed it. I would make an excuse, but I'm working on being assertive and not making excuses so no excuses--I just didn't.  

August on the other hand has been a little bit harder. As I'm not going to school this semester seeing everyone else move out and on with the rest of their lives while I sit here waiting for a piece of mail that determines the next chapter of my book has been testing. Watching people get married and get boyfriends and dump boyfriends has been testing. I'd like to say I'm learning from it, but I don't quite think I am learning from it YET because I'm too emotional about it all. I'm living in the "wanting what you don't have" and "living though the rear view mirror rather than the windshield" kind of life. And I don't really like that, so I'm going to change it. Because that's what people do when they don't like the situation that their in, right? 

Gosh, this is the worst blogpost I think I have ever written. 

Anyway. Life is beautiful and I need to do more capturing of it because to be honest, that's one of my favorite hobbies and I've forgotten bout it. So, if anyone is out there, remind me to capture. Even if I'm not sharing just capturing for me. Because then, I have to use the windshield. The pictures turn out much better that way. 

Keep smiling and being proud of yourselves. (I'm so proud of me because I've kept my room so clean and I've gotten ready everyday this week. Also, I had a really good day at the gym. So, be proud of what you're doing.)

Here's to bad writing. Woo. 

1 comment:

Katherine Cotton said...

I'm happy to see that you are writing again! I've missed your posts. You already sound like you are on the perfect path to changing a situation you don't like, and I believe that you will do it. You have a strong spirit! Everything will work out so well, and I am also happy to hear that you are finding joy in your journey.